Excerpt: Every design choice on this site is intentional. Yes, even that one.
Let’s get this out of the way: yes, the entire site is in Comic Sans. No, it’s not a mistake. No, I won’t apologize.
The Idea
Every developer portfolio looks the same. Dark mode, Inter font, smooth scroll, a hero that says “I build things for the web.” Clean, minimal, forgettable.
I wanted something that made people stop scrolling. Something that made a senior engineer squint, inspect the source, and then reluctantly admit — the code underneath is actually solid.
So I built a site that looks like it was designed in 2003 by someone who just discovered HTML, but is actually running a custom WordPress theme with:
- GPU-accelerated canvas particle effects
- IntersectionObserver-based scroll reveals
- 3D perspective transforms on hover
- A fully responsive CSS grid system
- Proper
prefers-reduced-motionaccessibility support - Clean PHP template architecture
The aesthetic is a joke. The engineering is not.
The Reaction
The first person I showed it to said “this is terrible” and then spent ten minutes hovering over every card to watch the tilt effect. That’s exactly what I wanted.
A portfolio should start a conversation. “Nice clean site” doesn’t start conversations. A glitching name in Comic Sans with a fake visitor counter and a marquee that says “BEST VIEWED AT 1024×768” — that starts conversations.
What It Actually Proves
Anyone can install a template. Building something deliberately bad that’s technically impressive requires you to actually understand:
- CSS architecture — custom properties, animations, stacking contexts, responsive breakpoints
- JavaScript — canvas rendering, intersection observers, DOM manipulation, performance optimization
- WordPress — custom theme development, template hierarchy, block patterns, ACF integration, editor customization
- DevOps — DigitalOcean deployment, SSL, GitHub webhooks, auto-deploy pipelines
The Comic Sans is the hook. The code is the resume.
The Takeaway
If you’re building a portfolio, don’t be afraid to have a point of view. The safest choice is also the most forgettable one. Build something that makes people feel something — even if that feeling is “wait, is this serious?”
Then make sure the source code answers that question for you.
This site was built with WordPress, PHP, vanilla CSS and JS, and an unreasonable amount of neon pink. The guestbook is still under construction.